feeling sorry for inanimate objects

fontinosantana:

engineering is red

science is blue

command is yellow

this isn’t actually a poem it’s just star trek trivia

(Source: fieldcate, via thelazyvampire)

One time when we went to the nearby lake, a spider fell on me.
Three. Times. In a row.
And I don’t talk little tickly baby spider here, no those things were HUGE. Or maybe it was the same spider which had some weird crush on me, idek.

However, the first one crawled down my arm and scared the living shit out of me, but somehow I managed not to scream. The second was in my hair, very real and very alive. I didn’t scream.
The third got stuck in my shirt.

On the car ride home, I felt it struggling against my back. When we arrived, I very calmly got out of the car, undressed in the middle of the street, and ganked that motherfucker.
I did not scream.

That was when I realized I must have superpowers after all.

so how do i apply to s.h.i.e.l.d.

anfael:

benadryl computerglitch

WHY

anfael:

benadryl computerglitch

WHY

(via jovialmaverick)

  • person: whats an OTP?
  • me: the fictional couple you think about when you listen to Fix You by Coldplay

se-ren-d-ipi-ty:

lacigreen:

snarkenstone:

On the left we have the lyrics from Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines. On the right we have rape survivors participating in Project Unbreakable, showing the various things that were said to them by their rapist.

From the Mouths of Rapist: The Lyrics to Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines

i think this is the most powerful photoset i’ve ever seen on tumblr.

Reblogging until you understand why this song is so vile

(via oboshiyuranosuke)

et-in-arkadia:

anactualbear:

xjohndeeregirlx:

Went Goat shopping today..This baby girl claimed me as her own before I could even decide.

oh my god oh my god

things to do:
goat shopping

et-in-arkadia:

anactualbear:

xjohndeeregirlx:

Went Goat shopping today..
This baby girl claimed me as her own before I could even decide.

oh my god oh my god

things to do:

  1. goat shopping

(via dumbledearlovesfizzingwhizbees)

maddoraptor:

edwrad:

are tectonic plates dishwasher safe?

idk but they’re perfect for a continental breakfast

(via ellie5192)

99revolutions:

newcrystalcitysteel:

corpsin123:

spookynovice:

It taught me how to summon Satan with Hot Cross Buns

I sneezed into one of these once. Long story short, I almost gave a teacher a heart attack

A THIRD GRADER SUMMONING SATAN WITH A RECORDER SHOULD BE A SUPERNATURAL EPISODE

ALL I’M IMAGINING IS
[doot doot doot] [doot doot doot] “heLLO BOYS”

99revolutions:

newcrystalcitysteel:

corpsin123:

spookynovice:

It taught me how to summon Satan with Hot Cross Buns

I sneezed into one of these once. Long story short, I almost gave a teacher a heart attack

A THIRD GRADER SUMMONING SATAN WITH A RECORDER SHOULD BE A SUPERNATURAL EPISODE

ALL I’M IMAGINING IS

[doot doot doot] [doot doot doot] “heLLO BOYS”

(Source: pleatedjeans, via dreadpiratecrowley)

amlour:

one time in high school this kid started choking on a roll and instead of helping him i said “how breadful” and that about sums up how useful i am in emergencies

(via kingmycroftholmes)

sashalovespenporn:

I am not comfortable with this. (x x x x)

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

(via nailsbadou)

michaelsexford:

what i’d really like is for someone to objectively watch me for a week or so and then just sit down with me for a few hours and explain to me what i am like and how i look to others and what my personality is in detail and how i need to improve where do i sign up for that

(Source: teenagevevo, via ellie5192)

madmandywithabox:

itsa3patchproblem:

agents of shield, one episode in, and i’ve got no idea what i’m lusting more after: agent ward or the flying corvette

Just wait a few more episodes. You’ll be lusting after everyone.

Drool everywhere. This is so embarrassing.


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